A Morning War

by Clarissa

On the first day Doc and I moved in the 1000 Querce mansion, we were engaged in an unfair battle: Doc and I against an army of thousand of soldiers.

As soon as I opened the door that divides the garage from the stairs, what do I see there on the edge of the white wall??? A black thread… They’re not spiders, not scorpios, but ants that are going up up up… I follow the black thread up to the stairs, in the living room, then kitchen, and finally in the trash bin where the thread disappears…

OH MY GOODNESS!!! I can see a glimpse of terror on Doc’s face. We haven’t even moved in that his property has been taken over not by a thief, burglar, or criminal, but by an invisible and micro-enemy, an enemy that is much harder to detect, locate, and eradicate. Not only that, but because of its size, it can easily hide and then come back when you don’t expect it and beat you with no warning.

I can’t waste time because I know Doc. While I take the broom, I hear ‘strange’ noises coming from the stairs… SPLAT-SPLAT-SPLAT… I run at saving as many ants as possible because I know Doc can become very aggressive when someone tries to claim ownership of his properties (particularly of pens that he adores and keeps in orderly manner on his desk… but this is another story that I am going to write about in the future…)

I pick up the lucky ants and throw them out near the hill behind the house. There are a lot of them, and they seem to multiply every second. Doc is thinking on how to get rid of them in a simple and fast way (for him, not them). After a couple of hours, the situation–thanks to my effort–seems to be under control.

Then, almost at the end of the day I hear a scream coming out of the powder bathroom (in CA, the half bathrooms are called powder bathroom. Go figure why…)
“Please please please, pick it up GENTLY and throw it outside… Please, tell me you did that, didn’t you?” I ask hopeless.
“Oh sure, not a problem. I tried to do that, but it said it’s a scuba diver and therefore decided to leave through the toilet…”

Doc’s satanic look doesn’t lie on the whereabouts of the poor thing…

NB: After several more attacks, I eventually decided to leave some traps before leaving for a one-week trip.
Upon returning, I found that one of the traps was full of dead ants floating in the misleading liquid.
“Doc, look at this” I tell him while showing the trap “It worked!”
“Ohhh good” replies Doc with a look of satisfaction “but wait a second before throwing it out… Leave it there and let it be an example for the ants that are still around the house”
At that moment, I thought that I very much like the idea that Doc loves and doesn’t hate me…