1000 Querce News

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Month: December, 2011

Life with no Limits

There is an Italian singer, Vasco Rossi,  who wrote a very famous song in 1983 titled “Vita Spericolata” that translated sounds like “Life with no limits.”

So, this is the title of today’s posting “Vita Spericolata” that Doc seems to have whenever he flies.

Indeed, for the third time in a few years, Doc was called for an emergency on the aircraft.

The first time occurred on the Air France flight between Paris and Philadelphia, and the emergency consisted in a man who drunk too much on board and got drunk puking and throwing up the impossible. Doc would have gladely thrown him out of the aircraft with no remorse, and most importantly with no parachute.

The second time occurred on the Lufthansa flight between Frankfurt and Philadelphia, and the emergency consisted in an old and blind woman who fainted most likely because she was tired and dehydrated from 24 hours of traveling. Doc laid her down and made her drink some fluids to recover.

The thirst time occurred a few days ago on the Air France flight between Paris and Los Angeles, and most likely this was the scariest emergency of all because it involved a 7-month pregnant woman. This lady, a flight attendant flying in business class with her 3-yr old monster boy, was on her way to LA to meet her husband and father of the little monster. Soon after the departure, when the aircraft was flying over Island or a little further into its flying path, this lady thought that her waters broke and was afraid of delivering right there on the aircraft. At the paging for a physician, Doc replied to the call.

“Where you the only physician on board?” I asked recalling the question that my niece Altea asked Doc the last time he told her about the emergency on the Lufthansa flight.
“Well, actually, a medical student also replied to the call, but he was immediately dismissed” Doc replied.

So, after inspecting the future mom, Doc sanctioned that the waters were not broken (“Perhaps the wet feeling she had was due to urine” he mentioned) and the aircraft could continue toward its final destination (To the quesiton of the commander “Should we land or should we proceed?” Doc with no hesitation declared “Keep going”). Lucky him, because I am not sure what Doc would have done in case the baby had decided to see the world during that trip. I would have paid $ 1M to witness such situation and be there with him.

It’s not hard to imagine that after such impressive performance, Doc became the Italian Idol of the aircraft, and all flight assistants were kind to him and spoiled him with free espresso and chocolate… Obviously, they even had to take his personal information to check that he is indeed a physician and not an impostor, and who knows… perhaps also to know more about him and who he is, because Doc doesn’t wear a wedding band, and he always looks like a young and charming bachelor ^o^

The Gardner, This Criminal

photo by Simon Howden

That Doc is a maniac of security, but still a maniac, is no new news

One morning, after Doc and I moved in the mansion in 1000 Querce, a quiet and lovely town of the Rabbit Valley in Southern California, the sun shines and I am in the kitchen to fix breakfast. At a certain point, I glance a shadow moving outside, and when I look, I noticed a man standing next to the gate entrance by the patio. Knowing Doc’s concerns to live in a house with three sides unprotected and open to thieves, burglars, and criminals, I promptly alert him:

“Doc, Doc” I say loudly “look outside by the patio, there’s a stranger there”
Doc is still half asleep in bed

“I know you’re kidding… let me stay in bed a few more minutes” he replies with a sleepy voice
“i am NOT kidding. Wanna bet a dinner out in the most trendy (and expensive) restaurant in LA???? There IS someone outside our gate by the patio” I add with little hesitation

After so many years, Doc knows that I am incredibly thrifty and reluctant to bet $$$ just for the sake of betting without little chance to win my $$$ back. Therefore, he jumps out of the bed and runs to the window with no hesitation.

“For Pete’s sake, it’s a gardener, and he is cleaning and brooming the common path” Doc comments with a note of sadness for having been thrown out of bed for such a silly reason.

“Are you sure? Are you completely sure???” I reply back “he could be a thief dressed as a gardener. He is also wearing a big hat that prevents you from seeing his face and thus being recognized. Perhaps, he has a camera in his broom, and he is taping the area to understand whether we have a security system and learn how to break in while we’re sleeping like two little angels…”

“Naahhh, he is a normal kind of guy” Doc says ready to go back to bed

“Hey, wait a second… It’s these people who seem so normal that you have to be worried about. Remember the comments of neighbors of a serial killer ‘he was such a nice man… he was so kind and loved taking care of roses in the garden’ and so on…”

After 5 seconds of complete silence, Doc yells from upstairs “STOP IT! DON’T SAY THOSE THINGS THAT YOU FRIGHTEN ME!!! Tomorrow, I am going to ask how to have a gun.”

Mission accomplished–I am soooo evil!!! MUUUUUAAAHHHHHAAAA